Saturday, March 9, 2013

This Week the Body...

Last two weeks the bike got the worst of it.  Two flats, both front and rear.  Then the rear wheel became toast.  This does not cover the need to replace the brakes, chain, cassette and every cable.  Shifters should also be replaced.  But sans flats and broken wheels I can ride the red bike.  This week the bike tried to kill me.

Monday began with a work out.  Rode the blue ice bike to work because of ice fears.  Heavier with heavy studded tires my quads were killing me all day.  After getting home I chose the red bike for downtown shenanigans. Fine and dandy.  Faster, lighter better.  But I misjudged a curb and crashed.  I landed on my left side, forearm and chest first.

Standing up I saw another issue.  The end of the handle bars were at the 11 and 5 o'clock position.  I tried to straighten that out to no avail.  Even holding the front wheel between my legs and using all my force failed to move the bars a millimeter   Fuck it.  I rode home that way.  1 and a half miles with my left at 11 o'clock and my right at 5. That takes skill.  Skill.  Streets and trail, snow and ice and darkness.  Once home my son Quin tried to fix it.  He failed.  Had to use tools.  Two bolts, simple.  Never had to do that before.  Tight!

Taking a shower the next day revealed the full extent of the damage.  Apparently, the two red welts below my left breast indicated that I landed on the handle bars.  Those welts are about the size of Nipples.  Not the huge giant nipples Craig Lien likes but small round man size nipples.  I will not be topless for a while.  Needless to say my ribs hurt a bit too.

My left arm took the rest of the force. It hurt to fully extend it while riding and doing simple tasks at work.  Slight bruise.  No new nipples.

The next morning I rode it to work.  Good ride.  Much better than riding the ice bike 12 miles.  Except for one 10 yard stretch on Ashworth.  Riding along on the empty street and BAM!  The rear wheel slid out from underneath me and I land on my left butt cheek and watch the bike slide forward on its side, component side up. Yes, the same ass cheek that took a hellish crash 4 years ago.  Still hurts.  Still cannot sit still for extended periods of time.  Still hate to sit in cars because of it.  Nothing can be done to fix it without evasive surgery or drugs.  Both options are not for me.  Avoid the knife, drugs are for serious medical conditions only.

So I am in the right lane of Ashworth westbound watching my bike slide forward on black ice created by drifting snow.  Thank God that no automobiles were behind me when this happened.  Get up and ride on.  Handle bars are ok.  Nothing wrong with the bike.  Watch out for ice.

The next day the unexpected happened on familiar turf.  530 am on the Bill Riley Trail I encounter a woman walking a dog.  Nothing unusual.  They were standing on the side of the trail waiting for me to pass having seen my lights and knowing that I was approaching.  I apologized for the brightness as I passed.  Looks like a Labrador.  I thought that I encountered them before but did not dwell on that thought as I passed them.  Then the paw steps, the mutt was chasing me.  I could hear her attempt to recall the dog unsuccessfully. Standard Operating Procedure is for me to slow down and/or stop so human can reunite with pet.  Thus I did this.  AND THE BASTARD BIT ME!  Fucker!  I reported this to her and she apologized, said it's never happened before blah blah blah...  No blood.  So I rolled on.  Don't have time for this.  Must get to work.  Once in adequate light I saw that my pants were ripped by Fido.

Thursday and Friday were good days.  No flats, no crashes, no dog attacks.  I hope next week is better.

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