Saturday, March 19, 2016

Nemesis Cars

Small penis man rather drive a Vette

I am not superstitious but I notice patterns.  When the turkey vultures disappear and bald eagles appear I know it is going to be cold for 6 months.  When it snows over an inch I know that there will be car wrecks in double digits.  When I see a late model black Toyota Camry I know that the driver will be rude.  So on the Face Book group Icy Bike Winter Commuter Challenge I asked if it was just the fore mentioned climate changer or other vehicles that are the enemy of bicyclists.

I made the Camry Enemies List way back in 2008 or 2009 when Mary and I joined a Punk Rock Cyclists group ride one sunny afternoon.  Should have known better.  Large group of stick bikes riding to the southwest county roads of the metro.  Unfortunately, this involved crossing Park Ave at or around rush hour and blowing through a red light en mass.  But the bad confrontation occurred on the return.  For some reason, probably due to flooding in Water Works Park and George Flagg Dr we had to take Park Ave to SW 30th.  I was in a group of 3 or 4 and we were hugging the curb to share the road with our cager friends.

A black Camry came along side and its window rolled down.  A white man in business clothes formal spoke to me.  "GET OFF THE STREET IT'S DANGEROUS!  IT'S NOT SAFE!  YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!"  He was actually causing the danger forcing those cars behind him to slow down for his safety lecture.

I replied with the same exact words he spoke to me. "I have a right to this road so fuck off!"

Well, he did not like that one bit and threatened to call the police on me.  I told him to take his meds and have a good day.  Finally he left.

Ever since then black Toyota Camry's have been my nemesis.  I have not had an encounter with this particular person again that I am aware of.  But every now and then i encounter one on my way to work.  Usually the last mile in the dark about 530 am.  I'll be riding on the empty 4 lane Westown Pkwy crossing I-35/80 when the Toyota will approach me from behind.  Despite two westbound lanes this car thinks it needs to be in the right lane and not the left lane and therefore passes me very closely.  As a result I get closer and closer to the left lane to establish my space.  Last week the bastard honked at me followed by a white late model Camry passing close.  I know I am very visible since people I work with pass me and and I ask if I am hard to see.  No I am not.

Smugness hurts

To my surprise other commuters have different nemesis cars.

Paul from Des Moines (my town) reports that it is the jeep grand cherokee (intentionally lower case for Paul) driven by "real assets to the gene pool."

Uni-body.  Do not crash or it will be totaled.

Jeff also listed another SUV and Dodge Rams. " I've had a few run ins with new Explorer drivers. I won't even mention Dodge/Ram pick up drivers, negative experiences with them is pretty ubiquitous."  He continues, " Just to reinforce my point about Ram drivers, a kind gentleman pulled into me while driving a red Ram pick up between the time I wrote that and now. He was coming out of an alley, looked at me coming down the road, pulled out a little bit more, looked at me, pulled out a little bit more, looked at me, then he pulled out once I was beside him. No contact, but WTF? Maybe we need a more stringent helmet law around here, I'm sure that would fix the driver problem."

Never used for anything but grocery runs and moving divorced friend to apartments

Dads driving mini-vans were listed.

More complaints about SUVs especially those with tinted windows.

Usually driven by women

Teenage drugstore Cowboys driving  rusty pickups.

And another complaint about mid-size sedans (possibly a Camry).

A RAV4 got a mention as a Toyota driven by a crazy person.

Finally I like to mention that there is a white work van that harasses cars not bikes.  this van with a ladder on top exits I-235 at 50th and turns west on Westown Pkwy.  I've seen this happen many times.  He/she drives too fast, tailgates and once almost lost control.  Someone who used to work at my place of employment was a victim of this once or twice.  The strange thing is that this van leaves me alone, changes lanes when passing me and never honks at me.  Now if Mike was in his Mustang the fool would be on his bumper.

So maybe it is the driver not the particular model of vehicle.  Of course.  Humans behaving badly.  This time behind the wheel.  The story of humanity.

1 comment:

  1. I had a guy try to crash me because I wasn't using the bike lane, even though it was full of slushy water and it was going to disappear in a block. He was in a mini Cooper. So, now I assume all mini-coopers have little man complexes and are inherently dangerous.