Gotta catch the midnight train
First to Paris then to Spain
Travel with a document
All across the continent
City life is flying by
The wheels are turning all the while
Get on board we can't be late
Our destination cannot wait
First to Paris then to Spain
Travel with a document
All across the continent
City life is flying by
The wheels are turning all the while
Get on board we can't be late
Our destination cannot wait
--Waiting For The Sirens Call, New Order
Last year I took a bus to Chicago and a plane to LA just to see the band New Order. While there I noted the bicycling environment in both cities. This year we drove to the Twin Cities and caught a plane to Cleveland to see the same band. Super fans of New Order who travel far to see them live are known as Vikings. The name comes from the entrance music that they used to play just before they walked on stage. Funeral For a Viking from the Kirk Douglas movie of long ago. Heavy music to start of set of guitar infused electronic disco and dance music. As usual, New Order is only playing 7 dates for their American 2018 tour but Mary and I managed to get to the first two and have tickets for their next date in Long Beach, California. Not only did we observe bicycling in these cities but were able to ride bicycles in one of them.
I often call myself The Lost Viking because I have had to eat more tickets to New Order gigs than I care to mention. There was the Chicago gig that was a bit too close to my son's birth. Another Chicago gig that both of our cars decided to take $1000 shits the day before we were to leave. Another time the plane tickets were purchased for the wrong date and when we discovered this it would have been too expensive for both of us to go. We stayed home instead. Crap like that. My tattoo will be of a burning sinking Viking ship. This year was a bit close as well.
The day before we were to drive to Minneapolis to catch a plane for Cleveland, my wallet exploded at the store. All the contents fell out at the checkout on top of the candy racks. When the dust settled and I picked up my stuff my drivers license was missing. Normally I would have not cared. I had to renew it by the end of next month. Since I rarely drive my chances of being pulled over and having an officer of the law asking to see it were nil. But I was to board an airplane. And in order to get to my assigned seat that I paid for I had to pass through TSA. TSA would say, "eirie papier, bitte, your papers please." A state issued ID is needed to get past them.
Sure, just go to the DOT and get a new one. I have all the other documents necessary for this, SS (Social Security) card, birth certificate, voters registration proof of residence ect. No problem obtaining a new DL. BUT, and it is a miserable BUT, the Great State of Iowa issues temporary paper drivers licenses at the DOT and mails, snail mail, the hard plastic and digitized license to your home in a couple of weeks. The TSA does not like this. But what choice did I have? Goddamn paper ID.
I planned to pick her up at work, Dora and joey, her BF, would take his car and take Mary's bike home. Every second counted. This was a big fail, however. First, I left the wristbands for the Cleveland gig, InCuya Fest, at home on my dresser. AND we grabbed the wrong shoes for Mary. Had to go home. More wasted time!!!!
Eventually we got on the road and I set the cruise for 79 mph and kept it there all the way to St Paul except in construction zones. The Palace Theatre was easy to get to and parking easy to find. I think I prefer to go to St Paul now. 35E to Kellogg. Simple. Go to the guest line and get our wristbands. Show paper ID. I was referred because of it to the head doorman who looked at it and said Minnesota should do this. He smiled and let me get the Surly wristband necessary for booze. We got there as Wagner's Das Rheingold - Vorspeil was starting. Check out merch, buy shirts and then acquire a round of drinks. Time to relax and watch our favorite band. We made it alive!! Got in for free!! Two hours+ gig of 20 tracks and we got to meet the guitarist, Phil, and bass player, Tom, plus the DJ Whitney Fierce who opened and fellow Vikings have told me about.
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| Mary, Phil and I at The Palace Theatre |
After the gig Mary drove. The last gin and tonic put me over the edge. Find a White Castle as it was late and then find the airport. Parked the car in the Purple section at Terminal 2 and then found the train to take us to Terminal 1 and the United gate. Early so find seats near a plug in and charge our phones. Funny how mobile phones have us searching for electricity. Little sleep.
As expected, TSA was not happy about the paper ID. In their defense they were just doing their job, keeping planes safe. Gave the girl the paper ID and explained. Gave her my SS card and offered other forms of ID but she said the SS card was enough. A moment later, "step to side, sir." Pulled out of line. "I'm going to rub you this way (vertically) and then this way (horizontally)." Someone else went through my bag, a large laptop bag that held 3 days worth of clothes, my meds and the cellphone charger and batteries. On a black wand there was a white patch that periodically they stuck into a machine for what I assume was used to detect bomb making materials. They were polite and it took longer to get my crap repacked and settled than the pat down. But I got through!!!! I doubt a real terroristo would be as half assed as I was at an airport.
One layover at O'Hare and a $60 bar tab. Stay near the gate. Do not walk out of the secured area. Then an hour later we landed in Cleveland.
The Redline is the train that takes people to and fro Hopkins Intl Airport to Cleveland proper. PRO TIP: get off the train at Tower Center. We missed that stop and got off at the next one, E 55th. E 55th is in the less fortunate part of Cleveland. Even the sidewalk surface was poor. No one hassled us. Saw a few bicycles even an orange fatbike. No restrooms on this road which was an issue. Mary had to go! After walking 2 or 3 miles ISO the mythical Wendy's we were told by a convenience store/sandwich shop clerk that there were not any restrooms that we could use until we reached "Mac Donalds or Burger King." So we continued north until I decided that west looked better as it was on the way to downtown. And it was. Euclid was a cleaner street with bicycle lanes and clearly marked mass transit. We found a Subway and ate their after relieving our bladders. Fire up Google Maps only to discover that our hotel, The University Hotel & Suites, was less than a block way on Euclid! Check in, get to room 601, shower and nap.
Let's backtrack a little bit. The Curse of the Lost Viking struck again!! Somewhere in the friendly skies between Minneapolis and Chicago I realized that I left the damn InCuya Fest wristbands in the car at the airport. After we parked the car, and it was a hassle because the damn dome light would not shut off so Mary had to drive it a bit to get the damn thing to shut off. Once it shut off I seemed more concern about stashing the CDs in the glove box than anything else. After all, nothing more valuable than a $20 box of 5 discs from The Fall and NOMC15 by New Order. (PRO TIP: when traveling to see a band do not listen to a CD or mps of their current setlist. This will cause confusion at the gig. Hey, I thought they played that one already? ect) I waited until we landed and had our first drink consumed before asking Mary if she happened to pack them.
"Well honey, how would you feel if we just explored Cleveland and missed New Order."
"What?"
"Did you pack the wristbands?"
"No. You were to do that."
"I did not. So I will email InCuya Fest and explain. I bet this happens all the time I wager. They'll issue us new ones. Cheers!"
By the time we landed I had the reply. Box office opens at 9 am on Saturday. Call this number. So after our nap we headed to downtown and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, which we could have explored IF WE HAD THE DAMN WRISTBAND, and I dialed the number. They would replace them. Just show up with ticket number, on my phone's email, and ID. Here we go again with the paper Iowa ID!!
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| Soldiers and Sailors Monument, Cleveland. Photo lifted from Phil Cunningham, guitarist New Order Soldiers and Sailors Monument |
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| USS Cod WWII submarine. USS Cod |
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| Bicycle rack at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum |
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| Gargoyle on empty church on Euclid, Cleveland |
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| The Chandelier over Euclid in the theater district downtown Cleveland |
Downtown Cleveland is very nice and a fun place. Lots of things to do. A theater district highlighted by a giant lit chandelier above the road, restaurants, bars, brewpubs, coffee shops, Cleveland State University and bike lanes and buses. The architecture was fabulous. A mix of old and new. It was hard not to look like a tourist and keep my head down while there. First stop was at Cafe Ah Roma for my usual 3 shots of espresso over ice in a 16oz plastic cup fill the rest with half and half. We found the R&R HoF and went inside. No exhibits but the restrooms and gift shops and then purchased a beer and sat out on the patio and watched a young band play. Bicycle commuters were ever present as well as people just hanging out on bikes. Mostly older road bikes or hybrids without racks and bags, backpacks were common. A few fully kitted riders on newer roadies. All using the lanes.
We were tempted to use Cleveland's UH bike share bicycles. We spotted several of there docked bicycles in motion and saw a few of their docking stations. Mary and I thought about renting two but we really did not have time and walking seemed to the way to go. On our way back from the R&E HoF we encountered two of these rentals being ridden on a sidewalk. The rider of the second bike shouted "THESE ARE *&*$^#& DANGEROUS" as she rode past us. and BAM she crashed on the curb of the intersection we just crossed. A woman in front of us turned her head when she heard this and said to her friend in a sort of East Coast accent, "she needs f'in training wheels!" We all laughed.
Mass Transit Cleveland Style
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| Wristbands acquired! The white New Order is from the guest list at St Paul. Later we'd receive a pink one for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame |
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| Sustenance: Mary's vanilla latte and my 3 shots over ice with half and half. Phoenix Coffee Co. Great friendly service! |
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| The basement of Butcher and the Brewer. Top or main floor is a normal bar with a view to the butcher shop. No blue lights up there. |
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| Downstairs at the Butcher and Brewer |
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| Phil Cunningham, guitars and keys for New Order. This photo was taken after he left the Butcher and Brew. |
Saturday we walked everywhere. Got the wristbands and drank at a bar and a few brewpubs. We had lunch at the Winking Lizard, a great bar and good food and if you like Meat Loaf, the singer, well the juke box likes to play tracks off of Bat Outta Hell to the bartender's annoyance. Masthead Brewing Co was next. Located in a warehouse it is huge and has food and was very busy selling flats of tallyboys of their new release to customers. I had two beers.
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| Ze Festbier from Butcher & Brewer pub |
We checked out the fest for a bit and it started to sprinkle so it was decided to visit another brewpub, Butcher and Brewer, near Public Square. Once seated and first round placed I asked the barkeep if if InCuya Fest was helping business. Said we came to see New Order. I could feel the man seated next to me turn his head. Wow! Phil from NO who was there having a pint and curry. Took a lot of strength not to take a photo or talk music. We follow each other on Twitter and share some common interests. He did ask how the festival was set up. When he finished he said he had to return back to the Ritz to pick up a new guitar. "We have a great deal with Fender."
Eventually we settled into the festival and had a great time. Up front for New Order. Noticed that the people near us were a couple we saw in Minneapolis when we saw Peter Hook & The Light at 1st Ave. Vikings travel. Also I got spotted by a young woman who said she saw me at Riot Fest last year. Damn, I thought I would blend in! Also front and center for New Order, she took my photo without my permission to share on social media. "See this handsome dude and his beautiful wife? I'm so jel jel!!" We also met Jennifer, a Twitter friends and her family who flew in from Texas to see New Order. After the gig we walked back to the hotel and stopped by a pizza joint for dinner.
One thing I failed to account for was sleep. Our plane was to leave at 639 am. So we would need to be there as early as possible and even more so given my ID problem. Mary did the homework and loaded the transit schedule on her tablet. We can use the kiosk in the bus platform to purchase a day pass that works for both buses and trains. Bus to train station. Buses run 7 days a week. They stop running for 2 hours between 1 am and 3 am. The first bus we could take would be outside our hotel at 320 am. Perfect if 2 hours of sleep is sufficient. Shower and sleep 2 hours. Mary could not sleep.
We checked out at 3 am and waited on the bus platform staring at the red digits of the clock. 320 am no bus. 325 no bus. 330 am no bus! Decision time. Walk to Town Center Station and if the bus comes by flag it down. Sure enough, two blocks later the bus goes by and we wave our arms in the darkness and RUN to the stop. We were saved by a man in a wheelchair. His affliction held the bus long enough for us to climb aboard. Then the driver stepped on it and drove rather fast to the station. Of course we could not find the Redline or train since it was inside the Ritz Hotel but after wandering around a bit with two phones on Google Maps directions and asking we found it. Take a series of escalators.
I knew we were on the right path when 3 or 4 RTA works sprinted past us and ran down the escalators. They ran so fast that they grabbed the side of the escalator with their right hands and swung themselves around to the next one. "Is this the way to the Redline?" I queried. "Yes!" Good. The ticket man saw our ticket and let us through and then stood up and yelled at the the other RTA crew. "Get this train to the airport without stopping! The next train will make regular stops!"
The train was dark, no lights. A RTA woman asked who was going to the airport. Some of us raised our hands, "Get on this train once I open it up. No stops until the airport. no stops until the airport. This train is going straight to the airport without stopping!" she said several times. Works for us!!!
Whew! We were seated on the train! Relax. Straight shot to the airport. We will get there on time. Five minutes into the ride an older man, perhaps 60, says, "She missed my stop!" Someone told him that the train was going to the airport without stopping.
"That's bullshit! I'm gonna talk to that fucking bitch!"
Someone chuckled. I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from laughing. Two hours of sleep and this scene on the train could have been straight outta Barbershop. Mary I laugh every time we think about it and I do a great impression of him.
"Hey, you missed my stop!" he shouted through the little window behind the conductor's seat.
"I told you several times that this train ain't stoppin' before it gets to the airport! Now sit down!!"
He shuffled back to his seat grumbling and mumbling something about bullshit and no stops. A few minutes later a woman exclaimed that her stop, too, had been passed. Are friendly man who talked to the conductor gave the only reply, "yeah, she ain't stoppin' till she gets to the airport." No anger in his voice but almost a laugh, ha ha I was not the only one.
New guy at the TSA. His supervisor was with him when he searched me. It tickled but I got to watch the girl run through my bag. Yes, meds and dirty clothes, ha ha.
St Paul: Lime Bikes and Stone Sour
We got to MSP way too early but this gave us time to explore. Since I booked this early flight I checked around to see if anyone we would to see was gigging in the Twin Cities Sunday night. Sure enough Stone Sour was at The Palace! Doors open at 7 pm or so so we had like 10 hours to kill. First things first: food.
Simple way back from the airport, 35E to Kellogg head east. Look out the window for a place to eat. We found the Day By Day Cafe nestled in a residential area. Looked like an old store front and although it appeared a bit cozy inside it was a bit larger and the courtyard with koi pond was immense. I recommend this place. A few doors down is the Claddagh Coffee Cafe where we got out our espresso fix. As usual, three shots over ice and fill the rest with half and half and a iced vanilla latte for the Mrs. Noticed that there were bicycle racks available, some in use. Bicyclists in the streets, too. And a green Lime bike across the street. After parking this boat anchor (car) we should rent a pair and explore St Paul. Trails everywhere according to Google Maps. This is what we did.
The problem with cars is that they are great for getting one from point A to point B but when one needs to see what is out there a bit closer the car ain't in. First issue is that they suck gas. Traffic is bad often. Finding a place to park over and over again is not fun. And the ever present risk that someone is going to crash into you is another reason that cars are just boat anchors, an albatross around our necks. Lucky for us it was Sunday and it was free parking on the streets. We found a spot in front of the Church of Scientology within walking distance of The Palace Theatre. They were having an open house but being the good Catholics we are we declined. No one bothered us but I did see the same man on subsequent trips back to the car to drop off and pick up stuff.
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| Hamm's! Between the Palace and Great Waters Brewing Co |
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| Nice mural. We tried to eat at Mickey's but it was 100* F inside. |
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| Stone Sour |
We walked to the venue and saw fans of Stone Sour sitting outside hours and hours before the doors were to open. I suppose that we would have seen the same thing on Thursday if we would have left Des Moines early. Tickets have been on sale since May but did not see out. New Order, on the other hand, sold out in minutes. We walked around the corner and saw the tour buses and Stubbs, official photographer for Slipknot and Stone Sour, and local Des Moines man. He also took my son's senior photos. I was hoping he could hook us up with backstage scene but people paid $150 for the meet and greet. I really wanted to see Roy Mayorga the drummer. No luck. They were busy. So we crossed the mall to go to Great Waters Brewing Co . I had their No Surprises English IPA which is a cask ale and served warm/room temperature. Delicious and smooth! Do yourself a favor and stop here. I regret that I only had one beer here.
Finally On A Bicycle
The space between the Palace and Great Waters used to be 7th Street if I have my facts correct. It has been closed off to traffic. This makes the que to the venue safer and provides a place to relax although it lacks benches. The Hamm's Bear statue is here. But more importantly for me and this blog several Lime Bikes were parked here. Walk up to one, follow the instructions on the bike to download the app and then point your phone's camera at the sticker on the bike's rear fender and it unlocks and off you go assuming you set the seat height where you need it. the lock is the "meter" unlocked you are being charged, $1 for the first half hour, locked and the meter stops. The lock looks like a cross between a U-Lock and a rollercam brake from the 80s. It is on the seatstays and a red lever is used to send a metal "U" through the rear wheel to lock the bike and prevent it from being ridden. This stops the fees. Brilliant.
I've heard it all before and I understand that the biggest problem with this method of bike share is that users leave bikes everywhere and it becomes a mess. Other issues is that companies flood cities with these bikes and no human presence exists there to fix broken bikes or deal with issues that arise. Require people to live in and work in these locations. Docked bike shares, however, have specific bike racks to leave the bike when one is done with them and have a visible human presence to take care of the bikes. BUT those docks are few and not where people really want to be and until the bike is returned to the dock fees accumulate. So if you want to ride to 12 Eyes Brewing and have an hour pint session if on a bicycle you have a choice to park a bike at the taproom that will charge you for non-ride time or a bike that does not. I prefer not to pay while not riding. Essentially, there needs to be more bicycle parking/racks. Require dockless bike share companies to donate racks or perhaps the city and businesses need to do this. "Hey, there appears to be a lot of bicycles spending money at my business perhaps I should help my customers."
Basic green yellow bike with a 3 speed Nexus hub with generator hub lights and a basket. On the left Handlebar where a GripShift would be is a gripshift bell. Geared well for climbing and flat areas. The ride was a bit rough on my bum as it felt like I was sitting directly over the rear wheel or a really stiff tire but we were not doing a century. It did the job well and we enjoyed ourselves. I will look for these again. They gave us freedom of travel.
We headed to the river to ride on the trail system there. And somewhere in a nice neighborhood we heard two cars collide at an intersection we had crossed moments before. Then the need for a restroom hit and I remember seeing a brewery on Google Maps right off a bike lane. We headed there, 12 Eyes Brewing Co. At first I thought it was 12 Elves Brewing Co, a name I will trademark for myself IF I ever start a brewpub. Nice taproom in the bottom of a the historic Pioneer Endicott Building that once was the home to a pre-Prohibition saloon. The taproom is a lounge not a warehouse which helps the acoustics quite a bit. I had a Hefeweizen, the Heidi Klum, and a brown ale. Then since our bikes were not rented by anyone else we returned them to The Palace area and sought food for our final meal in St Paul.
Stone Sour was great. We waited outside and watched about 2500 fans enter the theatre. Great to see that many support a Des Moines band. Most had Stone Sour shirts. We looked a bit out of place. Unfortunately, our grueling schedule caught up with us. Mary was physically fighting with herself to stay awake and I knew it was time to bid St Paul farewell. Back to the Taurus and I-35. It was 1045 pm no espresso shop would be open. This is gonna hurt.
We headed south on I-35 and stopped at a Starbuck's location. Closed but the Holiday gas station was open for another 10 minutes. I grabbed a 16 oz plastic cup and filled it with ice and went to the coffee. All the coffee was dumped out and the airpots cleaned. The clerk said I could have the powdered cappuccino stuff. No thank you. Two bottles of Starbucks coffee and filled my cup with one, added half and half and the other bottle would be emergency reserve. It was a long drive back but we got to see a thunderstorm somewhere near Ft Dodge. With 57 miles left to go I pulled off and let Mary finish the drive. I was spent. Weekend was over. In an hour we'd be in our own bed with visions New Order light show and the sound of their subwoofers dancing in our heads and green and yellow bikes going from brewpub to brewpub. Success!
Until next month in Long Beach, California, I shall endeavor to travel via bicycle only.
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